Saturday, June 30, 2012

Nipple Stitches

I run with scissors because it makes me feel dangerous. I had surgery today and ended up with stitches. It wasn't actually surgery but the doctor had to numb the area in order to take a biopsy. If you've never gotten a shot in your right areola (the nipular region of your chest), then you don't know the extraordinary pain I had to endure today. I can only speculate that the left side would be comparable but without having experienced it, I have to assume those of you who have, have suffered less than I.

The nurse said, "little prick", just before stabbing me. I wanted to respond, "fat bitch", but she was holding the sharp pointy thing. Then, expecting a little prick, she jabbed that dang coat hanger into my nipple! I arched my back and clenched my teeth in the most manly manner I could muster under the circumstances and waited until she was done and had turned her back before wiping away the tear that had dropped off the ceiling and rolled down my face.

I didn't feel a thing when the doc came at me with his scallop chopper outer. You know, the cookie cutter little thingy? Anyway, that didn't hurt because Nurse Ratchet had actually succeeded in inducing shock which evidently has a numbing effect on my nipples.

So now I'm in a motel room with my beautiful wife and as I remove my shirt, I realize how tough pirates look with their eye patches and how not so tough nipple patches look.

Friday, June 29, 2012

New Power of SCOTUS - Writing Law

The Obamacare mandate isn't a mandate under the Commerce Clause, it's a tax. But Obama swore repeatedly that it isn't a tax. But the Supreme Court said it is...
Did Obama lie to us when he said there would be no new taxes on anyone earning less than $250,000? Or did he already know he was about to foist the largest new tax ever in the history of mankind on the American people? Did he lie or is he just stupid or incompetent? No really, I want to know which it is.
What about the second largest tax increase ever? You know the one. The one that effects every one of us if Obama doesn't act by the end of the year. My goodness. That's a lot of new taxes on every man woman, child and goat from a president who looked us in the eye and swore to us that he wouldn't do it. But then he did it. And now he wants another four years. That's the audacity of hope and change. Audacity indeed.
A family of four that refuses to skip their mortgage payments in order to pay for their mandated health insurance will be fined, nee taxed, $2,085 or 2.5% of their household income, whichever is higher, for exercising fiscal discipline. That will go down well.
When the SCOTUS shocked the world by redefining what constitutes a tax, they in effect tossed Obamacare back into the political arena. They chose to tell America that they were unwilling to declare a bad law illegal and that we must elect the people necessary to get this poorly written legislation replaced with something that actually provides healthcare in an affordable manner. 
Especially troubling is that the Supreme Court did not interpret the individual mandate to be a tax, they rewrote the legislation in order to call it a tax. Remember the writers took great pains to say it was not a tax. Tax writing must originate in the House of Representatives, never in the Judiciary.
51 votes in the Senate and a Republican in the White House are required to get this mess behind us so we can institute real reform that doesn't dramatically expand the socialist nanny state model which is failing so spectacularly in Europe at this very moment. 51 Senate votes and a President.