Saturday, May 1, 2010

Diet With A Guarantee

Are you fat? Want to lose 20 or 200 pounds? For just four easy payments of $24.99 (or one lump sum of $125.00), I have a diet that I guarantee will allow you to lose weight. Payments can be made directly to the Christian Motorcyclists Assn (you can fill in my name where it asks "Please credit my donation to:") or Relay For Life via these links. You WILL lose the weight, so click on one or both links above and pay now. I am so sure it will work, I will even post the diet below.

Step 1) Eat less and move more.

I know this is a complicated strategy so I will answer any questions you post to this blog regarding this revolutionary diet. As long as you have paid in full, I will allow replication of this diet so you can share it with friends. Personally, I would let them stay fat. Think how good you will look standing next to them!

I have helped you with this well researched and proven diet and now you can help us. The links above are real. Donations to both are fully tax deductible. Donations to CMA support ministry such as the Jesus Film and providing transportation for pastors in remote places in impoverished parts of the world. Donations to Relay For Life support Cancer research. Remember that cancer sucks.

Thank you,
Ward and Sharon


  1. Okay, you two, I've made my tax deductible contribution, so I want to know when I can schedule my first consultation. Will you be able to coach me in my daily workouts? I prefer the hula hoop and walking. I'm not sure how that will work out if you expect me to do them together. Any helpful hints will be gratefully received.
    Thank you!

  2. That's the beauty of this masterfully crafted diet. One easy step is all it takes. No coach needed! (No couch needed either). Because you have made your donation (we're on the honor system here), I will, at no extra charge, spell out the entire diet again.

    Step 1) Eat less and move more.

    Isn't it amazing?! We thought so too. Hula hooping is an outstanding example of "moving more". You're halfway there! Walking is good too if you walk at a rapid pace and get your heart rate up.

    Don't forget the other half, "eat less".
    I can't wait to see the new skinny you!